How many times a day do you think you blame and shame yourself? Probably more than you realise or are ready to admit.
I believe we all have a committee in our head, a counsel made up of many different voices, opinions and often shards of different personality types as well, depending on our chosen samskaras and how influenced we may be at any one time by entities and astrological energies. It’s a full time job most days managing all of them and remaining sane lol (!) and no, I’m not insinuating we are all living on the edge of psychotic breakdown, I am merely pointing out that we all have several archetypes living inside of us and acting out at random, and depending on our own karmic blueprint, those differing vibrations can get quite hard to manage. Especially when we are triggered by something or someone and they all or individually flare up with conflicting judgements and suggestions.
Think about it; which ‘part’ of you reacts to being told she’s fat or unattractive or no longer wanted as a partner? Is it your inner prostitute, shield Maiden or stepford wife that fires up in that moment to orchestrate the dialogue between your heart and your head? In that adrenal-charged moment you will undoubtedly (and unconsciously) ping-pong between several conversations ranging from “All men are the same, fuck him!”, “He doesn’t deserve a woman like me!”, or “He’s right, I’m not good enough, I should diet or get a boob job because something must be wrong with me!” Or maybe you retract immediately into shut down mode instead, the words “I am unworthy, I am small, I must be seen and not heard” burning through your awareness to crush your innocence and drive the stake deeper and hotter.
The truth is that shame and blame are poisonous vibrations and it is high time we transformed them.
When we were children, we were unconscious magnets for family shit. Every day we received, embodied and then unwittingly perpetuated, our parents’ wounded patterns as the synapses in our brains strained to connect sense to sense and reason to experience. We were little energetic sponges soaking up information on all levels as we witnessed the world going on within and around us, and without knowing it consciously but most certainly feeling the subtleties, all that #*%&! was embedding into our cells to form our very foundations.
We know our DNA contains traits from both mother, father and their respective ancestral lines, but our energetic makeup is created in the same way also. Our souls’ made unspoken agreements to take on some things and leave others behind when we entered the womb, so knowing this, our entire life now becomes one massive opportunity to discover who we are inside of that matrix first, and then rediscover we were truly are, outside of it. Who am I and why am I here? It’s the ultimate game – the game of Maya – and through the generosity of the gods (and to their amusement I suspect a lot of the time too), we are offered lifetime after lifetime to remember this and then master the rules so we can then release them and set ourselves, each other and our families free. So, are you passing ‘GO’ regularly or spending most of your time procrastinating with the ‘get out of jail free’ card?
As humans we have been programmed for generations – civilisations in fact – into the blame/shame game, to the point where we’ve forgotten that any other games or avenues to engage, exist. We are so enslaved to the rules we learnt as children that whenever anything arises to challenge that status quo, our knee jerk response is to assume, critique, condemn and armour up before we even know the truth of the matter. We shoot first and ask questions later because that’s what ‘you do’. We are controlled by fear and wary of love. Over time this group perspective has made us blind to anything else, to any other way of being, and it is also slowly creating a generation of self-loathing youths with maligned ethics, an unconscious addiction to pain, technology and in the worst possible scenario, suicidal tendencies, as they become increasingly reliant on outer stimuli for all source of entertainment and nourishment and unaware that they are gradually losing connection to their own primal impulses.
Spirit however, doesn’t want us to remain stuck in that old paradigm anymore. It’s time is up.
Spirit wants us to accept who we are, to own our unique and sacred self and practice self love with every breath. Spirit wants us to CLAIM ourselves and to let go of the human habit of passing blame and casting shame over everything and everyone, especially ourself. Spirit wants us to remember that all the strength and divine wisdom we seek, lives and breathes inside of us as sure as our heart beats, and that when we trust completely in that and step into our highest and best self, we don’t need to carry the past anymore. For anyone, and not even (or especially) for mum or dad. We don’t need anything manufactured or made up in order to feel good or be good, because we ARE GOOD already. No Naplan test needed.
Living in alignment with Spirit is our natural state of being and in order to anchor this vibration into our present expanding reality, we must start by empowering our children. We must stop turning them into smaller versions of us – wearing designer outfits and ordering baby chinos – because they are growing up way too quickly and it’s dulling and diluting their precious memory pathways to source.
There’s an old saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”, but at some point in history and most likely as a result of tribes becoming more nomadic and independent of each other, this sacred job fell more and more to any remaining smaller groups of elders, handfuls of cousins, immediate family members and then eventually passed solely to both or either parent. And as we know by observing how the family unit has developed and deconstructed through the generations, not everyone is ‘fit’ or ‘suitably responsible’ to be a parent, and it’s an especially tough gig if you’re on your own. We need our tribe back and we need it now.
Only a few short decades ago parenting was very different to what we see now.
Children were often regarded as property, treated as servants in some countries and as bargaining chips to be pawned and married off in service and to benefit the family line. How on earth is it acceptable to make an 8 year old a child bride, or for a young boy to chop wood and build fences from dawn to dusk? Children were (and still are) abused mentally, physically and sexually and certainly exploited in the work environment. Where adults should have stepped up to protect such children, they have instead chosen to perpetuate their own wounds by blaming and shaming the young ones into behaving as everyone else does, to follow societal constructs, to shut up, be submissive to keep the peace or placate some ‘important persons’ abhorrent desires. They’ve been coerced to respect invisible behaviour boundaries and in order to survive, had to learn to self manage to be accepted, included, and infused with the majority. Or suffer the consequences. And then when they cried or fell ill or collapsed from exhaustion, they were chastised further! Such children learn very quickly that listening to that committee in their head and manipulating the majority vote, could either save or sever their virgin life.
We even teach them that majority rules’ (!) and yet we fail to explain to them that mass mentality is actually the seed that manifests blind faith and takes ones’ power away. We should be teaching them to listen to, love and claim themselves, from birth.
Instead most of the time we teach them how to do exactly the opposite – to judge, separate and disassociate – as soon as they start forming words and grabbing for walking props, and when they express an opinion, we tell them that’s not what is done, not how we speak and not what we share in ‘polite company’. We demonstrate through our own wounded actions and sensitivities that speaking your truth will not win you friends and help you influence people as advertised; it will just get you into trouble. Noticed, but not in a good way. And then we layer the whole wounded sex thing into our stories and lead them to believe that only girls can wear pink and boys only blue.
We’re all guilty of it to varying degrees, but it’s just a little bit archaic don’t you think?
Try this on for size. If we were to teach our children to CLAIM themselves from the get go, to appreciate their unique sensitivities and show them that being different is actually a gift, not a curse, what sort of world would that manifest? If we were to hold the space unconditionally for them to share their thoughts, dreams and opinions and channel that energy in a way that honoured their highest self, their divine masculine or feminine, whilst guiding them appropriately and compassionately, would that not serve us all better and build a more connected and awake generation that is also emotionally mature, creative, intuitive AND intelligent?
What would happen if we as the adults, stepped up together in unison, and refused to give attention to all that never served us as kids? What would happen if we forgave our own inner children and gave him/her permission to be happy and free, would that create a healing matrix for our babies to plug into? Could we really choose to put aside our petty political disputes; our addiction to fast food, fast cars, fast women; our fixation with idolising false-god-celebrities; our ignorant and blind faith in churches that segregate and our attachment to having to be better and bigger and more powerful than each other? Now that’s a revamp of role models that I’d like to see eventuate! Stuff clearing the table after dinner and religiously doing your homework – how about what have you dreamed up today son that can help change the world?! What did you share today darling daughter that helped awaken someone’s heart? What can we do as a family to inspire others about this amazing planet we call home?
Our children are the light warriors of the future. Let’s see them as the saviours that they are. Let’s make whatever changes we need to make inside of ourselves and around the globe, in order to once again become the cohesive village, that they – that we – all need.
As a conscious parent, I don’t want to see a mini-me at all. I don’t want a carbon copy of my eye colour, genetic codes or a repeat of karmic drama that I know will just drag out and delay not only his own healing, but collective resolution as well. I trust he got the best of me and the best of his father and that the rest he will grow into and resolve with my guidance and power. Yes I wish to see my son surpass me on all levels as the master guru he is and hopefully live to see him thrive through the deepest connections and support from his energetic tribe, his celestial family and his ancient all-knowing and sovereign self, but more importantly, I need him to love himself.
And when our children claim and love who they really are, they set us ALL truly free.